I was trying to add 2 and 4/3 and I was too lazy to do it in my head so I pulled out my calculator. But my calculator needed new batteries. A logical person might just add the damn numbers mentally. But not me. Nope, I went looking for triple A batteries.
So I found my batteries and realized I only had two left. My calculator needs 4. A reasonable human being might just ADD THE DAMN NUMBERS IN THEIR HEAD, RIGHT? Well I’m not a reasonable human being. You want to know what I did? I got on my bike and rode into campus to buy some batteries.
Well the first place I went to was the kind of general store where they sell electronic things and school supplies and stuff. I look around for the batteries and I finally find where they keep them. But the rack was empty. Now by this point I’ve already figured out what 2 and 4/3 is but I’d come this far and there was no giving up now. So I go to the register and ask the cashier if he could possibly check in the back for me. And he does and comes back and says, no, sorry, we’re all out of triple A batteries.
And this is where my tale becomes truly desperate. I walked to the campus GROCERY STORE. Yes, I left the store where you’d totally expect to find batteries and walked to the store where they sell FOOD. And you know what I found there? FUCKING TRIPLE A BATTERIES. Also ice cream. Cause it’s fucking hot out and this was a lot of effort to put into a first grade level addition problem.
So here I am, back in my apartment, with fresh batteries in my calculator, checking to see what 2 + (4/3) equals even though I figured out that it’s 3.33 about 20 minutes ago.